Reaching Through the Fog
by Jillie chan
Summary: "I was afraid we'd find this." Hera sighed. "What is it?" Ezra asked "Basically a Force Suppressor." Spoilers for Call to Action Mild drug mentions.


I know this is going to be debunked tomorrow but I couldn't get it out of my head.

Disclaimer: This belongs to the all powerful Mickey Mouse

* * *

"This doesn't feel like Kanan."

Ezra regretted saying it as soon as he did, especially after all the hard work that it took to get their friend out of the Empire's hands. But the man currently curled up in the cargo hold didn't feel like the Jedi that Ezra had grown to trust and respect over the months on the _Ghost._ Ezra desperately hoped that Hera or the others wouldn't ask him to describe it.

"What do you mean?" Sabine asked, the universe's subtle way of reminding the Padawan that none of them ever had 'good luck'.

Ezra sighed. "It's like, just a hole or something. I don't know."

Hera knelt down to Kanan (_or_, a panicked thought occurred to Ezra, _an imposter Kanan_) gently grabbing the man's arm to pull a blood sample. Suddenly, Kanan was on top of their pilot, his hands trying to choke the air out of Hera but she was doing a good job making sure his hands stayed empty. For several startled seconds no one helped her as they tried to figure out when Kanan had moved.

"Karabast!" Zeb said prying their leader off of Hera, threading his arms under Kanan's and lifting the smaller human off of her.

Ezra and Sabine dropped down on either side of Hera asking if she was alright. Her eyes narrowed as she stood easily crossing the distance to the still thrashing Kanan. Their eyes met and for a moment Kanan froze, still tense, and then started struggling even harder against the Lasat. Chopper gave a warning warble, his taser ready.

"Chopper, don't." Hera said, never taking her eyes off of their leader.

"Don't you dare, don't you dare!" Kanan cried over and over.

Hera ignored him, getting the blood sample with less grace than before but far quicker than it would have been. "Sabine, Chopper, run this and tell me exactly what's in it."

"You mean besides blood?" Ezra asked, though the joke felt forced. Ezra watched Sabine and Chopper scramble to do their task.

"Zeb, we'll take Kanan back to his quarters. I have a set of restraints we can use until we can tell what the Empire gave him."

"Can't we dope him?" Zeb grunted, nearly losing his hold on the Jedi.

"Not until we know what's in his system," Hera explained as she helped Zeb wrestle Kanan farther into the ship.

"If this is really Kanan then he should be able to just, I don't know, Force his way out of this!" Ezra reasoned, following them, "So why doesn't he?"

"If the Empire gave him what I think they did, he can't."

* * *

"It's a rush job so it might not be accurate." Sabine warned, as she slid a disk into Chopper, "I have a second one going already just to be sure."

The crew crowded into the cockpit around the hololist of drugs in Kanan's system. Hera's eyes scanned the list pointing at a word that Ezra would never, ever, not in a million years, be able to pronounce. "I was afraid we'd find this one here."

"What is it?" Ezra asked, wondering if the "Y" would be pronounced with an "I" or an "E" sound.

"The reason why Kanan feels off to you. Basically it's a Force Suppressor; it disrupts a Jedi's ability to manipulate the Force. Rumor has it that's why the Empire is so eager to control the spice mines."

"Wait, are you tell us that Kanan has basically had too much oregano?" Sabine asked in surprise.

"More like had it crammed down his throat," Zeb growled.

"Not quite, not with all of these in his system. This is just to insure he can't clear his head long enough to think up an escape plan."

"So how do we get it out of him?" Ezra asked.

"We can't," Hera replied with regret, "the only thing we can do is make sure that Kanan doesn't hurt himself until it wears off."

"How long will that take?" Zeb asked.

"That depends on how much he's been given." Hera explained turning to the computers controls pulling up something that looked like it was written in…not Basic. At least it didn't look like any Basic Ezra knew. "Fulcurm managed to get me a stats list of the Empire's favorite Force Suppressors. I was hoping I wouldn't have to use it."

Sabine's eyes scanned through the list, turning her attention to her wrist computer. "Judging by the amount in his system and the half-life listed here it shouldn't take more than two days to be flushed from his system. Maybe three."

"Isn't there anything else we can do?" Ezra asked.

"I wish there was," Hera replied.

* * *

They had parked the Ghost in space on an asteroid since the Empire was sure to be combing Lothal looking for them. The downside was that for the past eighteen hours they were stuck in the ship practically on top of each other. Worst still, Hera had opted to take care of Kanan single-handedly so there was no one to mediate any disagreement. Granted the only disagreement the other four were having who was going to try to pry Hera out of Kanan's room for rest and who would take her place. It was currently a toss-up of Zeb dragging Hera out and Sabine taking her place or the reverse. Neither of them wanted Ezra to see Kanan like that. Chopper was grumbling that no one trusted _him_ to look after the Jedi.

"Why shouldn't I look after him?" Ezra demanded.

"Kid, not now." Zeb growled.

"That's not an answer! And besides, if you think I've never seen someone strung out on Spice before you're wrong."

"Look Ezra," Sabine said, "I think it's great that you want to help, but this isn't the time."

"Why not? Kanan's always looked after me, why can't I take care of him?"

"This isn't like watching his back!" Sabine shouted. "Do you even know what to do if something happens? He attacked _Hera,_ what happens if he does something you don't expect?"

"I'd find a way!"

"No, you won't," Zeb said, bending over to look Ezra in the eye, "'Cause you ain't goin' in there."

Ezra huffed but allowed Zeb and Sabine the win, but still followed them to Kanan's room. Sabine stood by the lock ready to override it and nodded at Zeb. The Lasat knocked on the door, shushing Chopper who as chirping a warning that this was a bad idea. The door opened revealing a tired and nearly murderous Twi'lek. "This better be an emergency."

"C'mon, you need something to eat." Zeb said, grabbing her arm to pulling her out of the room to take her to the galley. Hera hissed, flinching at the pressure.

"Zeb, let go!"

He dropped her arm, watching as she cradled it to her chest. Sabine abandoned her position next to the door to push up Hera's sleeve and Ezra leaned around Sabine to see that nearly Hera's whole arm was bruised and swollen.

"What happened?" Sabine asked in alarm.

Hera tried to pull her arm back. "I had to stop that idiot from giving himself a concussion."

"Karabast, Hera, you should have gotten me!" Zeb snarled, Chopper loudly buzzing a similar sentiment.

Ezra nearly voiced the same thing when he noticed that he was the one closest to Kanan's room. He quietly stepped into the room, closed the door and slicing the lock so that Sabine couldn't just override the code. There was a muffled "_Karabast!"_ with a couple of other threats and some pounding that Ezra ignored with a smirk.

The teen turned to see his mentor lying on the bed facing the door, curled up as much as he could despite Kanan's hands being cuffed behind him. The Jedi looked pale with a slight green tint to his skin, his breath coming in shaky pants. Ezra shuttered as it felt like he was close to the edge of a black hole, feeling of fog that lead to nothingness. The Padawan reached out with a trembling hand to brush it against Kanan's face. The older man started, staring at Ezra with confusion before laying his head down again muttering "wasn't here, not here."

"_Ezra, open the door."_ Hera commanded, her voice making the teen jump until he remembered the comm in his pocket.

"It's okay, Hera. I promise to keep an eye on him while you get something to eat and while Sabine looks at your arm. Heck, take a nap; I think you've earned it. I can handle it"

"_Ezra_-" Hera started but he turned off the comm, his attention turned on the Jedi.

"Hey, Kanan." Ezra said, sitting in Hera's abandoned chair, "hope you don't mind me keeping you company for a bit."

Kanan said nothing, his eyes screwed tight as he mumbled what sounded like nonsense to himself. Ezra sat there wishing he knew what he could do to ease his teacher's suffering. The small part of Ezra, the one that looked up to Kanan the most, was convinced that if Kanan was himself he could teach Ezra some super-secret Jedi technique that could snap Kanan out of the drug induced state. Or the ability to ease into a deep sleep and be unaffected by the violent shutters that tormented the man.

But the rest of Ezra, the large part that had kept the teen alive on the streets, had realized that Kanan had to suffer the effects of withdrawal since even _if_ Kanan knew some wild and grand technique then he probably needed the Force to use it.

After sitting there for what felt like ages, Ezra glanced around the room, noticing a bowl of water with cloth in it. With nothing better to do Ezra wrung it out, gently wiping Kanan's forehead with it.

"You're not my Padawan."

Ezra drew back in surprise, seeing Kanan's eyes open and feeling like he had been slapped. "Kanan-"

"You want to know how I know?"

"I-"

"You feel nothing like him." Kanan gave an airy hollow laugh. "Just wearing their faces isn't enough to fool me. Couldn't get anywhere with Hera so you thought you'd try the kid?" Kanan started crying, "I'm sorry, please be okay, be okay."

Ezra's hand tightened around the cloth, doing his best to wipe away Kanan's tears, cursing slightly as he realized that Kanan was still hallucinating. Why hadn't it occurred to Ezra that if he couldn't feel Kanan that the reverse was probably true.

"I'm okay Kanan, promise, we're all okay."

Ezra lost track of how long he sat there listening to Kanan's defensive insults and delirious apologies, wiping away tears and sweat. It hurt more than Ezra wanted to admit when Kanan tossed a barb his way, so he focused on the fog that surrounded Kanan wishing there was a way to dispel it. Ezra's hand slipped, brushing against Kanan's face.

_Wait!_

There, just for a second, Ezra could have sworn he felt something definably Kanan. Ezra dropped the cloth, pressing his now free hand against the side of Kanan's face. Kanan frowned, his eyes screwed shut.

"No, damn it, kid. Get out of here."

Ezra felt lighter than he had since Kanan had been captured. "Kanan!"

"Don't hurt the kid. Please don't hurt him."

"Kanan, it's me, I swear it's me. You're safe, we got you."

"Ezra…"

Ezra reached through the fog trying to get to that spark he had felt and pull it closer. Kanan jerked away from his hand and Ezra lost the feeling. Ezra scrambled onto the bunk wrapping his arms around the older man and pressed his forehead against Kanan's shoulder. Even with increased contact the spark still felt frustratingly out of reach, like he straining to reach something at least a meter away. He felt like he was reaching into a pit trying to make sure that he wasn't about to be pulled in as he helped Kanan out.

"Kid, get out of here. It's too dangerous."

"We're safe."

It was exhausting to keep his focus for so long, but Ezra wouldn't let Kanan down. Not this time.

* * *

Hera would give it to him; Ezra had done some number on the door. It had taken Sabine the time that it took Hera to eat something and have Zeb wrap her arm as well as doze fitfully for about an hour before the door could be opened.

A glare had stopped the rest of the team at the door as she went in ready to yell Ezra's ear off for his little stunt.

She stopped as she realized what she was seeing Ezra cuddling next to Kanan. She cautiously laid a hand on the kid's shoulder her eyes firmly on Kanan. "Ezra."

"You've got help him."

Hera drew back startled, as she saw Kanan's blue-green eyes staring at her with surprising clarity.

"Kanan, how are you feeling?"

"He's pretty far away, I can't quite reach him." Kanan said his attention turned to the kid. He looked back at her. "We need to contact my crew."

"Already taken care of," she assured him, picking up the abandoned cloth and laying it along the edge of the bowl.

"Are they okay? They feel like an echo, they have to be okay."

Hera nodded.

"What did Hera say?" Kanan asked, bringing his eyes back to hers.

"She said that she'll be here when you wake up."

"Okay. Are you related to her? You sound the same."

"Yeah, we're kinda related," Hera said with a smile. "Kanan, I'm going release the restraints, okay."

She undid the cuffs and Kanan stiffly wrapped his arm around Ezra, pulling the kid closer.

"We have to help him," Kanan muttered, already sliding back to sleep.

"Just keep doing what you're doing." Hera said, gently running her hand through Ezra's hair. "This has been the calmest he's been."

Kanan nodded and Hera draped a blanket over both of them.

* * *

Kanan blinked awake with the feeling that he was _safe_. That was a novelty that he savored whenever it happened. He was in his room on the _Ghost_. When had that happened? There was someone in the room moving around.

"Can I help you with something?"

There was a sharp intake of air. "Karabast, you scared me. You feeling alright?"

Kanan fought against the fog, trying to understand what Zeb had asked. "What?"

"I asked if you were alright."

Kanan woke up a little bit more. "Yeah, just…hazy. How is everyone?"

"Sabine and Chop are making some modifications around the ship."

"And the others?" Kanan asked.

Zeb jerked his head to the side, drawing Kanan's attention to Hera asleep next to the bed, her head propped up on her fist.

Kanan moved to sit up when he realized there was a weight on holding him down. Curious he looked down to see Ezra wrapped around him, with his own arm around the kid.

"They've been there practically the whole time." Zeb explained with a gentle grin. "Took a team effort to get Hera out of here long enough to get her some food. That's when the kid snuck in and Hera wouldn't let us try to pry him off ya."

Kanan frowned. "I remember, being in a hole. And the kid trying to grab my hand. And seeing him in the fog."

Zeb quirked an eyebrow at him.

"Hey, do dreams have to make sense?" Kanan demanded a touch defensively.

"Not sure it was a dream, Love."

Kanan twisted to see Hera's green eyes looking tired but at ease at him. "What do you mean?"

"When I came back you were the most lucid you'd been, to the point that you finally realized that I wasn't an imp. Not sure what the kid was doing but it worked."

Kanan brushed against Ezra's mind feeling nothing but mind numbing exhaustion that left the kid with almost no strength. The kid stirred at the contact, trying to pull himself into the waking world which Kanan gently pushed down with reassurance. It wasn't as easy as it should have been, the Force feeling slippery to the Jedi but it relaxed the kid enough to fall asleep.

"He just let me know that I was safe," Kanan said rubbing a mindless pattern on the Padawan's back.

"Think you can stomach food?" Zeb asked and Kanan nodded. "I'll bring y'all something."

"Thanks Zeb." Kanan called after the Lasat, reaching out with his free hand for Hera's arm. She hissed, causing him to tense in alarm.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, you're just determined when you are half drugged." Hera sighed, showing him her bandaged arm.

"Hera, I'm so sorry-"

She placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "If it means having you home then it was worth it."

Kanan wracked his brain trying to remember what else he had down to his crew when Hera placed the hand on his face.

"It's alright, Love, you're safe."

Kanan glanced back at the kid and then looked into those understanding green eyes.

"Thank you."


End file.
